A Little Trouble
by Flyintofu
Summary: Xanxus needs a hooker, so Bel and Fran go out and find all sorts of hookers, while Squalo tries to pacify him.


**A.N. This was originally my idea, written by Korome, and I'm going to write it again anyway. But do go check out Korome's, it seems promising enough. **

**I haven't been putting disclaimers, so I'm going to put one now.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. But I have devised a great plan to steal it for myself: I will use Genkishi's illusion thingy to sneak into the author's house and then beg for KHR as a birthday present. Good idea, no?**

**Summary: Xanxus needs a hooker, so Bel and Fran go out and find all sorts of hookers, while Squalo tries to pacify him.**

A Little Trouble

Bel and Fran watched their strategy captain dodge a wine glass from the doorway of their boss. Squalo was pretty tolerant, considering that he had been avoiding wine glasses and items of that nature being chucked at him for more than ten years now.

The prince and the frog noticed that Squalo was much more agile when trying not to get his brains smashed out by tequila than on the battlefield.

"VOOOOOOOOOOI! GET IN HERE AND HELP ME, BRATS!"

The loud bellow of the long haired swordsman brought Bel and Fran away from admiring said swordsman's reflexes. Strolling to the throne, Bel muttered a "ushishishi" while Fran droned, "Very fun game you seem to be playing, Squalo-taichou."

"VOOOOOOOOOI! WHAT GAME IS THIS?"

"The "dodging boss's flying items" game." Fran answered, snickering a bit.

"DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME, YOU -"

"Shut up, trash." Xanxus spoke.

"THEN LET GO OF MY HAIR, YOU -"

Xanxus simply yanked the silver long hair harder, cutting Squalo's curses off.

"Listen, trash," Xanxus adressed the two little ones watching Squalo mumbling profanities under his breath, "Go find me a hooker."

"Ushishishi, so Boss has needs too?" Bel chuckled, apparently finding the whole thing very amusing.

"JUST GO NOW, BRATS, BEFORE HE FU...ARGH!"

Squalo's swearing was once more interrupted by a particularly hard yank.

"Go, trash!" Xanxus growled. Bel strolled to the door, pulling Froggy along with him, giving a few cheeky "ushishishi"s along the way.

Squalo wished the kids good luck, and they had better fuc - ouch! - return soon, or Boss's needs would soon be controlled. By him!

"So, Boss needs a hooker, huh, Bel-sempai?" Fran sniggered.

"Ushishishi...a hooker can refer to many things. Like a hook that's used to catch fish...was that what Boss was talking about, Froggy?" Bel absentmindedly toyed with his crown, staring into space. (Though of course, his eyes were hidden behind his bangs, so they could very well be ogling Fran instead.)

"No, idiot-sempai! What he meant was..." Here Fran trailed off and realised what his sempai was thinking about. "Very clever, fake prince-sempai."

"Ushishishi...but of course. The prince is a genius, you know?"

"Squalo-taichou! Boss!" Fran droned out a greeting to them. "Found you a few hookers."

"WHAT THE? FISH HOOKS?" Squalo was about to start swearing when Xanxus suddenly pulled on his hair, and Squalo fell quiet, grimacing in pain. "Go get me a hooker, trash. You know what I mean."

The prince and the frog retreated from the room, mission successful.

"Now, should we get something else? I don't want to be killed by Boss, or Squalo-taichou, after Boss releases him, idiot prince-sempai."

"Ushishishi...we should get something else indeed. Something that hooks well. Like...a hanger. That's it! We're going shopping, Froggy!"

"Squalo-taichou! Boss! We got other hookers!"

Xanxus surveyed the fine collection of hangers in front of him. There were size ones, size twos, red ones, blue ones. Black ones, more blue ones, old ones, new ones. One had a little star, another had a little car. What a lot of hangers there were!

Some were red, some were blue. Some were old, some were new. Some made people happy and some made people sad, depending on their quality. And some were really really bad.

You get the point. And the variant of Bel's favourite Doctor Seuss story about fish.

"VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI!"

"His patience is running out, brats! You really need to bring back what he wants or he'd be having my ass!" Squalo shook his head at the young officers.

Young, and mischievous.

"Ushishishi...the prince is back!"

"Bel-sempai, you forgot Froggy!" Fran whined from the doorway, not being happy at being left out.

"Ushishishi...Froggy just ruined the dramatic effect. But never mind. Prince the Ripper and Froggy are back!"

"Finally!" Squalo prayed to any god that could possibly protect his butt from Xanxus.

"Your hooker." Fran appeared from his position behind the doorway and placed a large sack in front of Xanxus (and Squalo, who was still squirming in Xanxus's grip).

"It better be correct this time." Xanxus muttered.

He loosened the knot of the sack.

Everyone peered inside.

Bel's Storm Mink popped out and clawed Xanxus before running out of the room.

"Ushishishi, he isn't above using his body to get what he wants, so he's known in the mink kingdom as -" Bel's explanation was cut short by Squalo.

"VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI!"

The next morning, everyone was treated to a Squalo bitchfest, the main topic being how two little brats were to be held responsible for his limp and the pain in his lower back.

And the two brats just smirked to each other while Squalo refused treatment from a very motherly Lussuria.

**Another A.N.**

**The Doctor Seuss book I was referring was One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. Had to change it a little to have it fit the context of the story. (The story is really good, though my favourite would be Green Eggs and Ham.)**

**And the last scene before the next morning was a reference to the Bugs Bunny episode Shishkabugs. The scene goes something like this:**

**Cook: Your hasenpfeffer. **

**King: It better be right this time.**

***a pie hits the king in the face***

**Cook: Oh, no.**

**King: GUARDS!**

**Little references there! **


End file.
